Speaking of being scared of your children – or of anything for that matter…

Here’s some free Prozac for your aura.  I feel much better now, thank you.


What’s Working

I haven’t posted anything about health in a while.  When this blog started back in November, I was in the throws of having recently lost my job, and 6 days later, starting symptoms of thyroiditis.

Thyroiditis was dominating my thoughts at that time, and with good reason, it was causing a deafeningly-loud whooshing sound in my right ear.  It was enough to drive a person mad, and I began clamoring for an answer to what was causing it, and more importantly, how to make it stop, IMMEDIATELY!

That began my journey, which eventually led me to read a book, and now I’m in a pretty good place with it all.  It went away, for the most part.  And it happened so gradually that I almost didn’t even notice.

Today I began to really think; out of all the things I tried (and I did a lot: working out, going sober, elimination diets, meditation, acupuncture, chiropractic, massage) what were the ones that really WORKED?

The answer?  The most effective thing was to stop working on it.  I pretty much just stopped thinking about it. I also worked hard on eliminating any negative feelings about anything. ANYTHING.  So no worrying.  No brooding.  NO BLAMING (the key).

When a friend complains about work being boring, my first thought was to get annoyed at my job, because yes, it fucking sucks sometimes!  Instead I’d put a good spin on it and say, yes, work is a great place to catch up on your daydreaming and web surfing.

It just makes me feel lighter to laugh at the crap that sucks, which relaxes my muscles in my face and neck, which allows my ear to drain more freely (ew).

I also give some credit to my HerbaSway teas.  There’s a lot of antioxidants in those fuckers, it’s gotta be helping. 🙂

I still drink wine, eat cheese, sometimes forget to eat, and drink coffee.

I do those things when I feel like it.

I don’t hold back if I don’t want to,
because I trust that my body will talk to me when it wants me to stop.

And then I’ll rest until I feel better.

And everything will be fine. Always. 🙂

On that note…

Still tired, but now relaxed.

I think I just ended my grouchy morning.  If you can relate at all to feeling confused about some choice that’s looming over you, or some dilemma you can’t quite figure out how to resolve, you might want to try this meditation.  It’s not quite as dippy-hippie as the last one I posted, which is a really awesome one, but some might be a little uncomfortable with the new age-ish vibe.  This is a great one for getting your head and your heart in the same place.

You will do this today…

Today I will boss you around and tell you what to do.

For the past few months, I’ve been discovering the amazing benefits of meditation.  I’m going to be very real with you, I’ve been on a mission my whole life to feel something better than average.  As a kid I wanted to visit some kind of magical land, or discover something that no one else knew about.  As an adult, that pretty much morphed into a drinking hobby.  Now that I’m a grown ass woman, with kids, responsibilities, and a really annoying new (but temporary) illness, I’ve realized that drinking is not beneficial, even if it’s as harmless as a hobby.  So, what’s a higher level of consciousness-seeking gal like me to do?  Meditate, of course!

I challenge you to go through this guided meditation today, and tell me you don’t feel incredibly amazing afterward.  You might not have the luxury of a quiet room with no one around, but maybe you can plug in your headphones at work and stare blankly at an email while you zone out and pretend to read it.  Or maybe you have a whole passel of loud babies screaming at you, so either get them involved, or put it on your phone and use your headphones, or wait until someone comes home from work and have them give you 30 minutes to yourself.  I promise you, it’s well worth the effort it takes to carve out 30 minutes of peacefulness.

A Zen Moment – Strength


So many of us are constantly faced with the feeling that we’re not thin enough. Don’t eat too many sweets, don’t eat a lot of fat, don’t eat carbs, work out, etc. This is old news. What’s surprising to me is that we don’t talk a whole lot about becoming strong. Inner strength is so important on such a core level. We can’t do anything without strength. We can’t carry our kids, we can’t handle stressful situations properly, we can’t really make any kind of positive changes in our lives without it. But yet, we still focus so intently on the issue of weight, and we’re seemingly always saying we struggle with our weight.

Wouldn’t it make sense that if we can make a few small changes that take just a few minutes out of our day? We could make ourselves physically and mentally stonger, and then things like self discipline and healthy food choices would just sort of naturally become part of our daily lives, and ultimately either make us skinnier, OR make us happy with the beautiful body we’ve been given.

I’m really not a big fan of drastic changes (anymore). I’ve done the drastic thing, and it’s exciting and all, but ultimately if anything starts dominating your thoughts and actions, things get thrown out of balance and eventually fall apart. So, I don’t really suggest that you completely change your life, but here a few things I like to do every morning to help myself feel comfortable with changing myself for the better, and give me inner and outer strength to face the challenges of the day in a positive way.

– Sit on a pillow on the floor. Either put your hands together, prayer-style over your heart, or put them palms up on your knees, or flat on the ground, depending on what’s most comfortable. Close your eyes, try to focus on your third eye chakra (the middle of your forehead), and take deep breaths. Pose the question in your mind, what do I need to hear today? Just wait, do that for a while, maybe 5 minutes. Any time a thought pops into your head, just sort of listen to it, and let it pass.

– Pick up a couple of hand weights, and do a few exercises. Doesn’t have to be anything crazy, but it wakes up your muscles and helps them get a little stronger. If you do it every day, you’ll be surprised how quickly you can feel your muscles getting a little buffer. This is a really great website that helps you figure out which exercises work best for specific areas you’d like to work on: http://www.divine.ca/en/fitness-and-nutrition/exercise-finder/c_266/.

– Hold a hot drink, look out the window, or go outside for a few minutes, take deep breaths, relax and feel grateful for the day ahead. Think about how you’d like today to be a little different, better than yesterday.

– Hold your hands over your throat, and say to yourself, I am strong, and I am willing to change. Ask for some inner strength and for some inspiration and motivation to do something cool today.

Some of these things might sound a little hokey, but most of us either have a few minutes alone in the morning where no one’s going to see or judge us for being weird, or, we’ve got some kids with us, and they’re totally weirder than you are, so there’s no need to be bashful.

The Pursuit of Perfection

I’m bringing messy back.

My whole life, I always thought of myself as a bit of a screw up.  I was raised in a very strict household, where things always had to be spotless and neat.  I never quite understood the importance of all that, and figured when I grew up I’d be more laid back, which I am.  I’m no germ-phobe.  I actually kind of enjoy seeing toys strewn around the house, it makes it feel homey.  I pretty much like the way I am.  So, no problem, right?  Wrong.

While I’m comfortable with this philosophy on cleanliness, there’s always been this bitch hanging out on my shoulder, telling me I’m lazy, unorganized and sloppy.  She remembers my mom’s perfect house, and reminds me that my sister’s house is perfect, just like mom’s.  Why is your house so dumpy?  Why do you enjoy buying from thrift stores?  Don’t you know successful people buy from Pottery Barn?  Why are you such a fuck up?  When are you going to learn, when are you going to get your shit together, why aren’t you like EVERYBODY ELSE?

This year, I’ve been smacked in the face with a wake up call.  It’s precisely that kind of thinking that caused me to become sick with an autoimmune disorder.  If you do a little Googling, you’ll find that most of these disorders are thought to be caused, or made worse from stress. Coming down with an illness caused me to do some introspection and meditation, and when you meditate, you start to see the connections of things.  I began to see that this internal abuse was going on almost constantly.  It was making me feel stressed and worthless, not good enough to deserve the finer things in life.  My reaction to that, was to run myself ragged, desperately trying to be someone who this person on my shoulder would approve of. I became exhausted physically and emotionally, and eventually, I got sick.

I realize now, all that worrying and trying to be a better housewife (for lack of a better term) was futile, that’s just not who I am, and that’s ok.  My house is older.  It can be really hard to make an older house look spotless, they have “character”.  I like character, that’s why I bought the house, therefore, I accept my dingy-looking floors. I know they’re clean enough. So, bitch on my shoulder, get the hell off, and don’t come back.  You’re not welcome in my house anymore, and I feel a whole lot lighter and happier when you’re gone.